Essay 3 prewriting pt.3

After reading the beginning of I Just Wanna Be Average and Between the World and Me, I came to the conclusion that these articles are similar in many different ways. In I Just Wanna Be Average, Mike Rose’s parents came to America in the 1920s from Italy. As his parents grew up they lived a lower class life. He explains “My parents contacted a woman named Mrs. Jolly, used my mother’s engagement ring as a down payment.” As they raised their kids, they knew that this was not the life they wanted their children to live. After a couple of years, his father moved to California in hopes about health and his child’s feature. They moved into a new house but however, it was very small. He said, “My father got most of our furniture from a secondhand on the next block; he would tend the store two or three hours as payment on our account.” (page 14) In Between the World and Me, Coates’s parents grew up in a place where they did not feel safe or wanted. However, Coates not give much information about his family. He did talk about how his family grew up knowing that the outside world was harmful to them. In many ways their families are alike. They both grew up living a low-class society and that constant feeling that they do not feel welcomed.

Rose writes a statement saying “developed a picture of human existence that rendered it short and brutish or sad and aimless or long and quiet…. When, years later, I was introduced to humanistic psychologists…, with their visions of self actualization…., it all sounded like a glorious fairy tale, a magical account of a world full of possibility, full of hope and empowerment. Sinbad and Cinderella couldn’t have been more fanciful” (page 18). This quotes shows that  he grew up in a time where the outside world was not the most comfortable so he grew developed a picture of what the human existance is like. He believes that the life he lives is not the life that he sees other people living.

Essay 3 prewriting pt.3

Every February when Coate’s was in school, he learned about the heroes of the  Civil Right Movements. However, he was upset about this. I was not happy that his school showed examples that only relating to black people. The films were dedicated to the glories of beatings on camera. He refers to the films as “The black people in these films seemed to love the worst things in life- love the dogs that rent children apart, the tear gas that clawed at their lungs, the firehoses that tore off their clothes and tumbled them into the streets. They seemed to love the men who raped them, the women who cursed them, love the children who spat on them, the terrorists that bombed them.”(page 32) My understanding of this statement is that he believes that they only focus on the bad that black people had to. go through. When around the US there were those who were black that did not go through the things that some of them did. When Coate’s was not at school, he chose to study Malcolm X. He would listen to his hip-hop lyrics, books, speeches, and other materials. Coate’s looked that Malcolm was a great positive activist against black people. In Coate’s writing, he explains a portrait of Malcolm. He describes it as “The portrait communicated everything I wanted to be- controlled, intelligent, and beyond the fear.” (page 34).In his life, he sees Malcolm as a role model and someone that he can look up to.

 

Essay 3 prewriting

02-17-2019

In the article,  Coates explains how the American Dream was built on the destruction of black bodies. As he speaks throughout the article, he gives many different descriptions of those who were harmed for being black. “And you have seen men in the same uniform pummel Merlene Pinnock, someone’s grandmother on the side of a road, that the police departments of your country have been endowed with the authority to destroy your body.”(P.9) This quote explains how the higher authority is trying to destroy those bodies are black. Another quote that has relevance to the destruction of black bodies is, “… I knew that there was a ritual to a street fight, bylaws, and codes that, in their very need, attended to all the vulnerability of the black teenage bodies.”(P.15) .This shows that teens who are black are more vulnerable to the destruction of their own body.  They know that as they step out of their front door they are more vulnerable compared to others around them.

 

On page 7, Coates uses the quotes “But race is the child of racism, not the father.”. By this quote, he is responding that race is not something that is new. It is something that has been going on throughout America since the beginning. He states “Americans believe in the reality of the ‘race’ as a defined, indubitable feature of the natural world”(P.7). Race is something that is passed on through generations.  He believes that judgment against race is “natural” to anyone. As he talks throughout the article to his son, he describes that no matter where you go you will either face racism or see it happening. To go with this Coates adds, “But democracy is a forgiving God and America’s heresies-torture, theft, enslavement-are so common among individuals and nations that none can declare themselves immune”(P.6). This quote explains how people who see or are judged for their race are immune to them. Coates whats his reader to understand the racism is something that is not new and people have been facing with it since they came into this country. He also wants people to understand that racism is something that people are immune to. However, in my opinion, I believe that is something that people should be immune to.

Feedback of peer review reflection

For this essay, I was paired up with Doyle and Grace. I was able to read their papers and add comments. I made comments on the information they needed to clarify and things they should add. When it comes to reviewing, I need some help. I do not always say things in a nice way.  I have a hard time finding the key concepts for my work so it is hard to help others for me. When I read my peers writing I look to see if they have the key vocabulary and have defined it, the most important concepts and what the article is about. When I can constructing my comments I read what the writer has around it to see if that sentence or statement fits will in the paper. I try to make suggestions on how they should fix it or what they should add. I believed that peer review is very important. When you are reading your own paper you know what you’re talking about but your peers may be confused. It is good to always have someone else’s opinion. I tried to add more but they were too big. Also, I do not understand why they are blurry.

Reading Process Reflection

When I first printed my article, I wrote down all the paragraph number so that when I was writing my paper and I inserted a quote I could refer back to where I found it. Then I went through the article highlighting important information. Next, I underlined the most important information that was in the text. I then asked questions and made comments on the side of the article when I.had one. As I was reading I made name brackets around people names. Overall I thought that I did OK on annotating. I feel like in other articles I can do much better.

Writing Process Reflection

When I was writing my Yoshino essay, I used different writing processes to incorporate into my writing. However, I do not think that this was one of my best writing but I was able to get words onto the page. As I read and annotated the article, I thought about the key ideas of the reading and how I can talk about it in my paper.  Before we began the essay, we were to write about some of the key vocabulary and how it related to identity. Each day leading up the rough draft we were to complete this as homework. Then as I wrote the rough draft, I used the homework assignments to choose what was important to add to my paper. I added quotes into my essay and described my opinion on them.  Next, I was paired up with two partners to review my essay. Doyle and Grace did a great job commenting on my work and telling me where I went wrong and what I need to add. After I reviewed their comments and added new ideas and quotes, I decided that I wanted to delete my introduction as I believed it did not find with the other paragraphs. I created a new introduction that talked about the idea of identity. Lastly, in class, I was paired up with Hannah to go over a checklist of things I need to add to my paper. In class, I read her paper and she read. mine out loud. We highlighted what we need to fix and or write more about. After that was done my paper got deleted, so I was unable to turn in the final draft of my paper. Throughout this semester, I will be writing more papers and with my mistakes from this one, I will be able to improve on my writing for the next ones.

integrating with other reflection

When it comes to writing papers my ability to integrate with others is poor.  Throughout the essay, I do add quotes and paraphrases but they lack meaning. As I am reading, I choose quotes that I believe I can make a connection to or is important to the writing prompt. After reading what is considered integrating with others, I came to the conclusion that I need to get better and to do that I can review my rubrics from last semester. When I was writing the essay reflecting on Kenji Yoshino “the new civil rights”, I used his quotes as a way to describe new words, bring in other peoples point of views, and to direct the conversation in another direction. As I wrote the essay, I used quotes from Yoshino and other people that we mentioned in the article but adding quotation marks. I would then either reflect on the quote by adding my ideas. And for definitions, I would use their definition in quotation marks and after I would describe the word in my own words and what I think the word meant. In this article, I did not pay attention to adding signal phrases and voice markers. I know that it is important. On my next essay, I will make sure to look at Habits of the Creative Mind and They Say/ I Say in order to improve my writing. Below I was going to add two examples of how I integrated with others. However, my essay got deleted so I was unable to. For my integrating with others I gave myself a NY. I gave myself this score because I believe that I added information from the text but I did not do as well as I could of.

 

Quotes:

One example that supports that is that if you’re a woman you need to wear makeup as it is an “essential” part of being a woman. He believes that “woman was given the liberty right to elaborate her own gender identity in ways that did not impinge on her job performance, she would be protected from demands to be either more ‘masculine’ or ‘feminine’.” (paragraph 32).

He defines it as “to tone down a disfavored identity to fit into the mainstream” (Preface).

Later in the article, Yoshino defines liberty paradigm as ” to protect the authentic self” and equality paradigm as “essentializing the identities it protects”.

 

Identity

Everyone has identities, some they are proud of and others they aren’t. Identities may represent who you are and where you come from. People hide their identities so they do not have to face social comments. Throughout history people have hid their identity so that they would not have gotten shamed, beaten, given less right and even murdered. Over a third of LGBTQ people hide their identity at work out of fear of discrimination.

 

Kenji Yoshino, an Asian American civil rights lawyer who is an open homosexual writes as article “The new Civil Rights”. He talks about how the law does not protect us from some things that are important. In his article he talks about covering. He defines it as “to tone down a disfavored identity to fit into the mainstream” (Preface). Many of those who know that the civil rights do not protect them cover themselves from who they really are. People use covering as a way to hide your sexuality, ethnicity when changing name, disabilities, etc. Many of those who cover their identity do it to avoid judgments and harmful comments.

In the article Yoshino mentions D.W. Winniscott, who explains what True self and False self are. True Self is the self that gives and individual the feeling of being real. When False Self is an individual the feeling of being unreal. One positive function of the false self gives is that one who is false to self is aware of their boundaries. Winnicott explains how “in the healthy individual, the False Self is reduced to a “polite and mannered social attitude,” a tool available to the fully realized True Self.” In my opinion I believe that your true self will help cover who your false self really is.

 

Later in the article Yoshino defines liberty paradigm as ” to protect the authentic self” and equality paradigm as “essentializing the identities it protects”. As he describes in the article that he believes that liberty paradigm will protect our true self. Liberty protects who we are and who we want to be. However, equality identifies us as what gender we are. One example that supports that is that if you’re a woman you need to wear makeup as it is an “essential” part of being a woman. He believes that “woman was given the liberty right to elaborate her own gender identity in ways that did not impinge on her job performance, she would be protected from demands to be either more ‘masculine’ or ‘feminine’.” (paragraph 32).

 

One group in society that has to hide their true self is those who are transgender. In the article, it does not talk about this, but it is something that people face a problem with every day. They have to hide who they are from the people around them to feel accepted. They use a way of ‘covering’ to hide from who they really are. Many of those who are transgender cannot get a job people will judge and stereotype them. I believe that no matter your gender identification or your sexuality, you should always have rights that support you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

nutshell draft

In the 1950s and 1960s, the Civil rights movement began. This law was put into place for blacks to gain equal rights under the law of the United states. In the United States, the Civil rights law has always been a problem. The civil rights law states “the rights of citizens to political and social freedom and equality. This law gives people the right to be free, equal and fair treatment in society. The civil rights may protect US citizens is many ways. However, it doesn’t not protect those that are importantly the same. It does not protect those who are homosexual and disabled. Th rights lean towards those who are black, when there is other things that are important that people should be protected by.

 

Kenji Yoshino, a homosexual civil rights lawyer writes as article on how the law does not protect us from some things that are important. In his article he talks about covering. He defines it as “to tone down a disfavored identity to fit into the mainstream” (Preface). Many of those who know that the civil rights do not protect them cover themselves from who they really are. People use covering as a way to hide your sexuality, ethnicity when changing name, disabilities, etc. Many of those who cover their identity do it to avoid judgments and harmful comments. In the article Yoshino mentions D.W. Winniscott, who explains what True self and False self are. True Self is the self that gives and individual the feeling of being real. When False Self is an individual the feeling of being unreal. One positive function of the false self gives is that one who is false to self is aware of their boundaries. Winnicott explains how “in the healthy individual, the False Self is reduced to a “polite and mannered social attitude,” a tool available to the fully realized True Self.”

 

Later in the article Yoshino defines liberty paradigm as ” to protect the authentic self” and equality paradigm as “essentializing the identities it protects”. As he describes in the article that he believes that liberty paradigm will protect our true self. Liberty protects who we are and who we want to be. However, equality identifies us as what gender we are. One example that supports that is that if you’re a woman you need to wear makeup as it is an “essential” part of being a woman. He believes that “woman was given the liberty right to elaborate her own gender identity in ways that did not impinge on her job performance, she would be protected from demands to be either more ‘masculine’ or ‘feminine’.” (paragraph 32).

 

One group in society that has to hide their true self is those who are transgender. In the article, it does not talk about this, but it is something that people face a problem with every day. They have to hide who they are from the people around them to feel accepted. They use a way of ‘covering’ to hide from who they really are. Many of those who are transgender cannot get a job people will judge and stereotype them. I believe that no matter your gender identification or your sexuality, you should always have rights that support you.