Essay 3 prewriting pt.3

After reading the beginning of I Just Wanna Be Average and Between the World and Me, I came to the conclusion that these articles are similar in many different ways. In I Just Wanna Be Average, Mike Rose’s parents came to America in the 1920s from Italy. As his parents grew up they lived a lower class life. He explains “My parents contacted a woman named Mrs. Jolly, used my mother’s engagement ring as a down payment.” As they raised their kids, they knew that this was not the life they wanted their children to live. After a couple of years, his father moved to California in hopes about health and his child’s feature. They moved into a new house but however, it was very small. He said, “My father got most of our furniture from a secondhand on the next block; he would tend the store two or three hours as payment on our account.” (page 14) In Between the World and Me, Coates’s parents grew up in a place where they did not feel safe or wanted. However, Coates not give much information about his family. He did talk about how his family grew up knowing that the outside world was harmful to them. In many ways their families are alike. They both grew up living a low-class society and that constant feeling that they do not feel welcomed.

Rose writes a statement saying “developed a picture of human existence that rendered it short and brutish or sad and aimless or long and quiet…. When, years later, I was introduced to humanistic psychologists…, with their visions of self actualization…., it all sounded like a glorious fairy tale, a magical account of a world full of possibility, full of hope and empowerment. Sinbad and Cinderella couldn’t have been more fanciful” (page 18). This quotes shows that  he grew up in a time where the outside world was not the most comfortable so he grew developed a picture of what the human existance is like. He believes that the life he lives is not the life that he sees other people living.

Essay 3 prewriting pt.3

Every February when Coate’s was in school, he learned about the heroes of the  Civil Right Movements. However, he was upset about this. I was not happy that his school showed examples that only relating to black people. The films were dedicated to the glories of beatings on camera. He refers to the films as “The black people in these films seemed to love the worst things in life- love the dogs that rent children apart, the tear gas that clawed at their lungs, the firehoses that tore off their clothes and tumbled them into the streets. They seemed to love the men who raped them, the women who cursed them, love the children who spat on them, the terrorists that bombed them.”(page 32) My understanding of this statement is that he believes that they only focus on the bad that black people had to. go through. When around the US there were those who were black that did not go through the things that some of them did. When Coate’s was not at school, he chose to study Malcolm X. He would listen to his hip-hop lyrics, books, speeches, and other materials. Coate’s looked that Malcolm was a great positive activist against black people. In Coate’s writing, he explains a portrait of Malcolm. He describes it as “The portrait communicated everything I wanted to be- controlled, intelligent, and beyond the fear.” (page 34).In his life, he sees Malcolm as a role model and someone that he can look up to.

 

Writing Process Reflection

When I was writing my Yoshino essay, I used different writing processes to incorporate into my writing. However, I do not think that this was one of my best writing but I was able to get words onto the page. As I read and annotated the article, I thought about the key ideas of the reading and how I can talk about it in my paper.  Before we began the essay, we were to write about some of the key vocabulary and how it related to identity. Each day leading up the rough draft we were to complete this as homework. Then as I wrote the rough draft, I used the homework assignments to choose what was important to add to my paper. I added quotes into my essay and described my opinion on them.  Next, I was paired up with two partners to review my essay. Doyle and Grace did a great job commenting on my work and telling me where I went wrong and what I need to add. After I reviewed their comments and added new ideas and quotes, I decided that I wanted to delete my introduction as I believed it did not find with the other paragraphs. I created a new introduction that talked about the idea of identity. Lastly, in class, I was paired up with Hannah to go over a checklist of things I need to add to my paper. In class, I read her paper and she read. mine out loud. We highlighted what we need to fix and or write more about. After that was done my paper got deleted, so I was unable to turn in the final draft of my paper. Throughout this semester, I will be writing more papers and with my mistakes from this one, I will be able to improve on my writing for the next ones.

integrating with other reflection

When it comes to writing papers my ability to integrate with others is poor.  Throughout the essay, I do add quotes and paraphrases but they lack meaning. As I am reading, I choose quotes that I believe I can make a connection to or is important to the writing prompt. After reading what is considered integrating with others, I came to the conclusion that I need to get better and to do that I can review my rubrics from last semester. When I was writing the essay reflecting on Kenji Yoshino “the new civil rights”, I used his quotes as a way to describe new words, bring in other peoples point of views, and to direct the conversation in another direction. As I wrote the essay, I used quotes from Yoshino and other people that we mentioned in the article but adding quotation marks. I would then either reflect on the quote by adding my ideas. And for definitions, I would use their definition in quotation marks and after I would describe the word in my own words and what I think the word meant. In this article, I did not pay attention to adding signal phrases and voice markers. I know that it is important. On my next essay, I will make sure to look at Habits of the Creative Mind and They Say/ I Say in order to improve my writing. Below I was going to add two examples of how I integrated with others. However, my essay got deleted so I was unable to. For my integrating with others I gave myself a NY. I gave myself this score because I believe that I added information from the text but I did not do as well as I could of.

 

Quotes:

One example that supports that is that if you’re a woman you need to wear makeup as it is an “essential” part of being a woman. He believes that “woman was given the liberty right to elaborate her own gender identity in ways that did not impinge on her job performance, she would be protected from demands to be either more ‘masculine’ or ‘feminine’.” (paragraph 32).

He defines it as “to tone down a disfavored identity to fit into the mainstream” (Preface).

Later in the article, Yoshino defines liberty paradigm as ” to protect the authentic self” and equality paradigm as “essentializing the identities it protects”.

 

Post Conference 2

Alivia Shattuck

November 2, 2018

Post Conference 2

 

Positive Feedback:

When I am writing, I am able to make connections to the reading. I reveal assumptions that the writer may have. I also bring in background information to support my quotes that I take from the writing. When it comes time to edit my papers, I go beyond the comments to make my paper stronger. While I am reading, I am able to connection the writing ideas to my own. I am able to keep a running summary of the writer’s thoughts as I annotate the writing. I also record the writer’s response and ask questions.

 

 

How am I going to get better:

 

I am planning on give key concept or ideas, bring new perspectives, shift the direction, and provide arguments to my writing. I am also planning on adding two more annotations on every page of my reading to make my way to advanced annotation, that can be found on my reading process rubric. When I am having a difficult time, or I am confused, I will ask Megan and Eric for help. I will also keep my portfolio updated and have consistent work and belief in myself.

 

 

 

 

Let’s write

 

November 14, 2018

The challenges I am facing is everything. I haven’t even started with the questions because I don’t know what I am doing. I have asked Megan for help but she did not help me. Because I did not do the first assignment, I couldn’t even start my draft. I need help on all my work because I do not know what I am doing. With the final paper due Monday, I am very stressed. I need help understanding the questions and everything else.

 

October 26, 2018

When you are writing a paper to find a question, it can be a little difficult. Not only are you finding that one question but you must answer smaller questions off of that. Adding a question rather than a thesis to your introduction gets the reader driven into your paper. The paper I just wrote, I really enjoy the question. One other thing I like about it is the topic. In my opinion, I believe that I did not do so good on it. If I had more time, I would review over the paper, edit it, see how I can connect the article more into my paper, and look at my comments to see how I can improve.

 

October 22, 2018

The most interesting paragraphs of my essay would be paragraphs two and three. in paragraph two, I talk about what your responsibilities as a classroom teacher and then the third paragraph I talk about how to change your thoughts in a classroom. As I reviewed my comment from my professor, I did not do ass well I thought I was. I hope that I can revise it to become a better written paper.

Teachers expectations on overweight students

October 23, 3018

Alivia Shattuck

October 19, 2018

Dr. Drown

Eng. 122

 

AsI was reviewing over the article “XXXL: Why are we so fat?” and my essay that I wrote on the key concepts to answer the question. I found a section of the article that drew in my attention. It explained how educators in a classroom setting lower expectation for children have who are overweight. As we know from experience, children in a school, do get teased because of their weight. I have seen it with my eyes and Elizabeth Kolbert, the Autor of “XXXL: Why are we so fat?”, she explains how “three out of five of the heaviest kids have been teased at school” (paragraph 27). It hurts me to hear that the teachers are contributing to the teasing. I directed this writing mainly to classroom teachers but in this scenario every other person does apply.  the real question is why are teachers holding lower expectations to those children who are overweight?

 

As a teacher in a classroom, you are there to support your students each and every day. You are there to help them grow, not only cognitively but social-emotionally, and physically too. As a teacher you should not base expectations of a children on their weight, race, gender or family income. Kolbert explains how “Teachers consistently hold lower expectations of overweight children…..” (paragraph 27). It makes me upset as a future educator that classroom teachers have different expectations for each child based on something that is not educational. My own view is that as a teacher or even a patron, you should never look at a someone and make an expectation on them. Youcould see someone who is homeless and think “that person is dumb” but maybe in reality they could be a genius. I have an example that relates to this. Last year I student taught in a kindergarten classroom. In the middle of the school year, we had a new student from Africa join. He did not know English. Throughout the year, I worked one-on-one with him to help him grow as a student. Teachers and other students thought that, because he did not know English he was not as smart and was going to stay back. Each day that I was with him, he excelled in the classroom. By the end of the school year, he was at the same level of the children who English is there first language. This relates to expectation of children who are overweight. Teachers should never have a different expectation on each student.

 

Even though I do not agree with this, I do understand that some teachers do this in a classroom. There are ways that you could you or someway you may know change their expectations on a child. If a student says “I give up” or they get frustrated when they do not understand something. You might automatically think “this child has no motivation” or “they’re lazy”. This issue is important to understand because you never want to make expectations on a student. In order to help raise your expectations, you should try going over to the child, sit with them and help them through their problems. Make sure to tell them that they are doing a good job and to keep it up. As we may know child obesity in the United States is rising and with that comes health risks. One way that we can help our students is to enforce healthy and activity. You can teach your children, the difference between healthy and unhealthy foods. In the classroom that I student taught in, each day the teacher would hand out fruits or maybe some vegetables. To help keep the students healthy, as many of them would bring unhealthy snacks to class.

 

As I read through the article “XXXL: Why are we so fat?” many statements that the author, Elizabeth Kolbert explained interested me. As I grew in up a house where everything was healthy. I always knew that junk food was very bad for you. After reading this article, I grew new information on the true reason on why they are bad for you. As I thought everything was interesting, there was one thing that caught my attention. It was that classroom teachers have lower expectations for children who are overweight. As I have spent 3 years working in a classroom, I could never treat a child like this. Not only does it lower their expectations but it also many hurt then mentally. This is very sad but children who are bullied are 2 to 9 times more likely to consider suicide. I know that is something that we do not want to think about, but suicide does happen. In my opinion, I believe that no teacher or actually anyone should ever have lower expectations for someone who is different than them. Here is how I think of it. We are all human, we may not have the same education or look the same but we all should be treated the same.

October 22, 2018

Alivia Shattuck

October 19, 2018

Dr. Drown

Eng. 122

 

As I was reviewing over the article “XXXL: Why are we so fat?” and my essay that I wrote on the key concepts to answer the question. I found a section of the article that drew in my attention. It explained how educators in a classroom setting lower expectation for children have who are overweight. As we know from experience, children in a school, do get teased because of their weight. I have seen it with my eyes and Elizabeth Kolbert, the Autor of “XXXL: Why are we so fat?”, she explains how “three out of five of the heaviest kids have been teased at school” (paragraph 27). However, it hurts me to hear that the teachers are contributing to the teasing.

 

As a teacher in a classroom, you are there for your children each and every day. You are there to help them grow, not only cognitively but social-emotionally, and physically too. As a teacher you should not base expectations of a children on their weight, race, gender or family income. It makes me upset as a future educator that classroom teachers have different expectations for each child based on something that is not educational. As a teacher or even a patron, you should look at a someone and make an expectation on them. You could see someone who is homeless and think “that person is dumb” but maybe in reality they could be a genius. I have an example that relates to this. Last year I student taught in a kindergarten classroom. In the middle of the school year, we had a new student from Africa join. He did not know English. Throughout the year, I worked one-on-one with him to help him grow as a student. Teachers and other students thought that, because he did not know English he was not as smart and was going to stay back. Each day that I was with him, he excelled in the classroom. By the end of the school year, he was at the same level of the children who English is there first language is their first language. This relates to expectation of children who are overweight. Teachers should never have a different expectation on each student.

 

Even though I do not agree with this, I do understand that some teachers do this in a classroom. There are ways that you could you or someway you may know change their expectations on a child. If a student says “I give up” or they get frustrated when they do not understand something. You might automatically think “this child has no motivation” or “they’re lazy”. In order to help raise the expectations, you should try going over to the child, sit with them and help them through their problems. Make sure to tell them that they are doing a good job and to keep it up. As we may know child obesity in the United States is rising and with that comes health risks. One way that we can help our students is to enforce healthy and activity. You can teach your children, the difference between healthy and unhealthy foods. In the classroom that I student taught in, each day the teacher would hand out fruits or maybe some vegetables.

 

As I read through the article “XXXL: Why are we so fat?” many statements that the author, Elizabeth Kolbert explained interested me. As I grew in up a house where everything was healthy. I always knew that junk food was very bad for you. After reading this article, I grew new information on the true reason that they are bad for you. As I thought everything was interesting, there was one thing that caught my attention. It was that classroom teachers have lower expectations for children who are overweight. As I have spent 3 years working in a classroom, I could never treat a child like this. Not only does it lower their expectations but it also many hurt then mentally. This is very sad but children who are bullied are 2 to 9 times more likely to consider suicide. I know that is something that we do not want to think about, but suicide does happen. In my opinion, I believe that no teacher or actually anyone should ever have lower expectations for someone who is different than them. Here is how I think of it. We are all human, we may not have the same education or look the same but we all should be treated the same.

Let’s write

October 19, 2018

As I wrote my essay, I did not quite understand what my professor meant by the ending question. after I talked to him, he explained to me what it was about. If I were to add a question into my writing now I would say, “why do teachers actually have lower expectations for children who are overweight?”. This question can not be fully answered but there is an answer for it. As a future educator, I find it fathoming that teachers can actually treat a child differently due to their weight. That not only hurts the child but it also lowers their self esteem. My audience many be educators or future educators. However anyone may be interested because all of us were in a classroom and would be hurt if we saw this with our own two eyes.

Writing to a question

October 18, 2018

 

Alivia Shattuck

October 17, 2018

Eng. 133

 

 

 

As I read the article, XXXL: Why are we so fat? There were many things that I found interesting and surprising. This article can be seen as informational or controversial. The journalist, Elizabeth Kolbert, explains how America is one of the leading countries, obesity wise and why that is. She goes into detail on how and why our country is overweight. She explains the many different views, in order to help find an answer to why we are so fat? You can ask this question to anyone and they will all have a different answer.

 

I couldn’t help myself but having my own opinion to what Kolbert had to say as I kept on reading. One thing that David A. Kessler said that drew my attention was “Conditioned hyper eating works the same way another ‘stimulus response’ disorders in which reward is involved, such as compulsive gambling and substance abuse” (paragraph 15). This interested me because I did not know that food is as addictive as substance abuse. He also said, “brains react to sweet, fatty foods the same way that addicts’ respond to cocaine” (paragraph15). I do not understand what addictive chemicals are both food and cocaine, but I am intrigued to learn more. People who are overweight tend to eat more and this is where the addictive chemical plays into place.

 

Over the past decades, companies have risen the calories in their food. A small fry at McDonalds used to be two hundred calories. Today, a small fry is two hundred and thirty calories and a large fry is five hundred calories. As Kolbert states, “During the nineteen-eighties the amount of food that was counted as a single serving increased rapidly” (paragraph 23). That statement has a correlation to the increase of human weight. As people eat more, the more weight they gain.  Kolbert also says that “the bagels that Americans eat have in the past twenty years swelled from a hundred and forty to three hundred and fifty calories” (paragraph 23). After she said this, I was surprised because I eat a bagel almost every day.

While I was reading the article, I came across something that that worried me as a future educator. She explained how “three out of five of the heaviest kids have been teased at school” (paragraph 27). This statement really did hurt me. Children, no matter their size should never be judged. Then she went on to talk about how “Teachers consistently hold lower expectations of overweight children…..” (paragraph 27). Teachers in a classroom should never have expectations on children no matter their weight, race, gender or even their financial background. This conversation really did fight with my thoughts. I am having a hard time processing why this would even happen.

As you look throughout the United States you can see that people who are overweight tend to get rude things said to them or they are starred at. This is because we have a “size bias” (paragraph 28). In the U.S., it is seen okay to be skinny or underweight but when someone is overweight they are hated on. When people think of the heaviest country, they think of America. Francis Delpeuch, Bernard Maire, Emmanuel Monnier, and Michelle Holdsworth states how “Americans were the first to fatten up, they no longer lead the pack” (paragraph 30). As of current data, it reveals that Finland, Malta, Slovakia, Germany, Greece, the Czech Republic and Cyprus all have a higher proportion of overweight adults than America. This astonished me because I have always been taught that America is the fattest country.

When you go to the grocery store and you look at the shelves you can see that the unhealthy foods are always less expensive than the healthy things. With over 29% of adults in the United States being classified as lower class, some of the families do not have enough money to buy food. In that case, they tend to buy unhealthy food because it is less expensive. In the past few decades, fattening foods have become cheaper. In the book “Fattening America”, Eric Finklestein talks about how between “1983 and 2005, the real cost of fats and oils have decreased sixteen percent” (paragraph 12). There is a big correlation between consumption and cost. When people buy unhealthy food, they tend to be less expensive and come with more food. With the prices in food decreasing, children in schools being bullied, calories getting higher and many more. All of these examples are to help explain the question of “Why are we so fat?”

 

As I read this article, I thought of the ways that writer began and ended the argument. She began by starting the conversation with a question, “why are we so fat?”. As she kept writing and gathering information, she would ask smaller questions through the article. As she read other books and talked to people, she found out that there are many different answers to her question. Finding the real and exact answer to her question is going to difficult but know people know that sometimes you may not be able to get one answer out of a question.

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